Greetings ItGals!
Hot girl summer has arrived and brought patio brunches and day parties with it! As the weather gets warmer, its time to stock up on invisible solid deodorant and prepare for all the fun that comes when temperatures are above 70. Pool parties, music festivals, and barbecues crowd our timelines and urge us to click links in bios and come meet new people. When we reach our destinations, we always notice tribes of women looking to enjoy themselves. Boobs are sweaty, edges are frizzy - but they turn up nonetheless. But, there are also times we notice women that we feel are there to expose us all to their sense of superiority and exclusiveness. Pop culture brands them the mean girls. They’d rather scroll down their Instas than acknowledge your presence and never seem that approachable (even if you're approaching them to let them know they that their wig is slipping). We know these mean girls and have felt their energies in the midst of good vibes. Be advised though, I’m not here to bash these women or support a culture of divisiveness. I am here, however, to empower us all with information to make sure we promote women supporting women. Whether you were that mean girl or know that mean girl, it’s up to you to do what you can to support another queen’s physical, spiritual and mental health while you’re out and about. Here’s four easy ways to start:
1. Inclusiveness is In: Inclusivity sits at the forefront of countless industries today. But how can we expect inclusion on the job if we won’t normalize it among ourselves? Beyond solidarity, it’s necessary that we welcome each other’s presence in a world that tells girls not to take up space. Take up space, sis. And when she arrives, be sure to scoot to the side and let her sit with you.
2. Leave Judging to Mathis and Judy: It’s hard not letting observations turn into judgement. But it is possible to practice kindness in a way that starts with your intentions. What are you looking for when you see another woman? Competition or a compliment? By changing the lens we choose to
see others in we limit judgement and gain allies. Even if you’re judging based on actions, it also important to realize you’re only seeing a fragment of their journey. You have to choose what kind of energy you're going to put in the universe.
3. Secure your Esteem: Everyone knows a confident and secure woman is not threatened by other women. If anything, she’s empowered. Invest in realizing your self-worth and confidence and you’ll be able to navigate relationships with women in a way that empowers them too.
4. Stop Perpetuating Pretty Privilege: Science tell us that whoever society deems most attractive is more likely to be met with friendship in unfamiliar spaces. In my own observations, this is especially true among women (remember Regina George?). This toxic patriarchal concept that
creates so much division can easily be cancelled by sticking to #1, #2 and #3. But I knew calling out how often we do it was important to put it at the forefront of our minds. So the next time you see a conventionally pretty girl, please avoid thinking she’s more deserving of your time and energy. We all need love.
Summer is a great time to have fun and build new friendships. Some of my closest friend have been the result of good vibes at a slip-n-slide. But I know firsthand how frustrating it is being a champion for all women and running into mean girls that make you rethink your allegiance. Although this is not an issue solved over night, I believe practicing healthy interactions will inspire change. This is my small contribution towards that. Thank you for reading.
Wishing you all love, light, and bottomless mimosas,
T.