Hi ItGals!
Warning you now, this post is going to be a bit of a pace change compared to my usual tone. ItGal is a platform for empowering women in all areas of life and I’m a fervent believer this includes our ability to think critically. This post focuses on today’s cancel culture and how it stifles us from real progress.
What is canceling, you ask? “Canceling” as we now know it can be described as removal of all social, political, and financial support from an individual or entity. This is often in response to some moral infidelity, either past or present, that defies the laws of today’s loudest prosecutors – the internet. And to be fair, they do mean well. In years prior to the creation of two-way communication platforms like Twitter and Facebook, influential figures like celebrities and politicians did their dirt and you never really knew how the public felt about it. Now that we do, some are being held accountable for their actions. While I’m all for accountability, I’m also interested in seeing real improvement in the form of systems change.
I was watching Dave Chappelle’s recent stand-up special on Netflix and he said something so profound it shifted my entire perspective on this subject. He said “If a system is corrupt, then the people who adhere to the system and are incentivized by the system are not criminals they are victims. And because the system is so compartmentalized in terms of information, the only way we can figure out what the system is, is if everyone says what they did. Tell them how you participated.” This is a concept he credits to revolutionary leaders fighting against South Africa’s Apartheid and suggests is the proper approach for movements like #MeToo. From this I began thinking: what if we weren’t so quick to cancel those who do choose to participate? And I don’t mean the creators and perpetrators of these systems, but the conformers and bystanders. Folks like Charlemagne the God who admits to objectifying women and promoting misogyny and now, a father of two black girls, sees the error of his ways. Folks like Liam Neeson who vulnerably recounted the desire to hurt black men after his friend was raped by one and eventually sought professional help for his violent thoughts. What if we sat down and asked personal assistants and meeting coordinators for Harvey Weinstein why they chose to turn a blind eye? Ask them to identify what forces caused them to ignore their inner conviction and stay quiet for so long? What if we saw them as victims instead of co-conspirators in the atrocities? I’m willing to bet we’d have a much better understanding of the prevalence of sexual assault in Hollywood and more allies willing to speak up without fear of severe public persecution. Because that’s exactly what cancel culture is becoming - something mirroring toxic mob mentality.
I'm so incredibly proud and grateful to be in an era of accountability. Like I've always predicted, women [specifically women of color (even more specific black women)] will be the force that moves us all into a better future. But I will never support groupthink. The way I see it, the moral absolutism in cancel culture has no place in the change we all want to see. I hate to sound like Oprah but sometimes the rich bitch has a point: compassion and empathy is the only remedy. Remember to lead with it in all you do.
Wishing you love, peace, and a Popeye's Chicken Sandwich,
T.
In the know:
IT'S THAT SZN: We are a year out from the 2020 election and the debates are underway. The Democratic Party debates have been only debates recently aired on television and even if you’re not a member of this specific party I think it’s important to know full landscape of potential candidates. If you don’t want to watch the two-hour-long recordings, online news sites for CNN, the New York Times, and ABC News have comprehensive reports detailing the issues discussed and candidate’s positions. If you want to learn more about the validity of candidate statements, sites like FactCheck.org and VotesSmart.Org are great resources for keeping you informed.
Tracee Ellis Ross Hair Care Line: One of my all-time favorite ItGals, Ms. Tracee Ellis Ross, launched a new hair care line called “Pattern Beauty” for people with curls ranging from 3B to 4C. Ross has been working to develop the line for 10 years, trying out formulas that cater to the wide spectrum of naturally curly and kinky hair. She offers her products a various sizes and price points to appeal to multiple budgets and also includes hair tools like detangling brushes and microfiber towels in her collection. Even though I am completely here for this line, I’m still waiting on the YouTube reviews before I purchase it for myself.
Wishlist:
Can I just be rich already? This artwork of a dress retails at $195 on at A.AU. And it is worth EVERY PENNY. I'm obsessed with dresses that have their own shape but also accentuates the shape of the person wearing it. This is a sneak peak of how fly I intend to be in the near future so #staytuned.
Crushing On:
Asayami Gold is a freelance curator and creator who's built a mini empire on visual storytelling. Besides having a page so aesthetically pleasing it defies logic, this African beauty also offers followers the ability to recreate this on their pages through her online visual storytelling workshops and preset filter packages at Asayimigold.com. She's also the founder and creative director A.AU (the store that sells the bombass dress on my wishlist this week). Asayimi Gold is goals hunni.
Now Streaming:
I was a bit skeptical about watching this show because I'm not a huge fan of reality tv. However, I'm so glad I was bored enough to ignore that feeling. Netflix's Styling Hollywood follows married business partners Jason Bolden and Adare Curtis as they work to make things happen on the red carpet and at home for A-Listers. What I like most about this show is that: 1.) It exposes us to a successful gay black couple, 2.) it isnt overly dramatic or scripted but they still do higlight relatable, uncomfortable truths we all face, and 3.) although this is a show on a male gay couple, the scenarios that unfold directly highlight what it is to be a professional black women. From wages to wardrobe, we are a presence. It's definitely a must watch!
Mood:
Feeling reflective
* A Word *
And my zodiac is a Cashier's Check, if y'all were wondering.