Do you often ponder upon who you truly are? Not in the sense of not knowing who you are but in a sense of accepting who you are. From your most disfavored flaw to your most beloved feature. When you have completely accepted the flaws and all, that's when you'll know who you truly are. That's when your self-love has peaked and validation from anyone else doesn't matter at all. Self-love is a priceless jewel that everyone should possess, but unfortunately not everyone does. It takes time to wholeheartedly love yourself. It takes time because as people, we're constantly evolving and changing as we grow older. As those changes occur, we sometimes can become buried in a grave of uncertainty, leaving us discouraged and insecure. It's easy to love what you love about yourself and not so easy with the things you don't. Instead of aiming to love those parts, focus on accepting them.
Bashful Beauty
See, growing up I was severely introverted and outrageously shy. As I grew older, I began to outgrow my reticence. Although a bit of shyness still harbors in me, it has certainly become a scarcity of what makes me, me. I've learned to accept that I'm naturally reserved. Over the years I've asked myself, "Why am I like this?", "Why am I not confident?" That's where I was mistaken. Just because I'm shy, it doesn't make me any less confident than someone gregarious. Wearing the crown of confidence takes fearlessness and certainty of self. But it doesn't necessarily mean you love who you are. Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. Self-love on the other hand is treating yourself with love, care, and respect. My personality has made me insecure within myself for years because I didn't accept my shy demeanor. And being that I didn't accept who I naturally was, the love for myself lacked which ultimately led me to search for validation from others to fill that void. When I finally realized that I saw myself as less interesting and cool because of my character, I set out on a journey to discover and embrace who I truly am. I started practicing self-love. I know many people are probably scratching their heads asking, "How do you practice self-love? Don't you just do it?" Well, the answer is no. You don't just do it. This ain't Nike lol it's not that simple. Maybe for some, but even then it's still a process. It's a practice that takes time to master.
Journey to self-love
I began by recognizing my qualities. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I marveled my amazing attributes and watered my flaws. I recognized how great I am at writing and started taking my skill more seriously. This showered an abundance of love upon myself because I found something I love doing. It gave me a sense of purpose, which was something I had been longing for. Another way I began practicing self love is prioritizing myself. I had always been a selfless person, always putting others before myself. I spent many years catering to the needs of others, while pushing my needs to the back-burner. I had to learn that caring for myself is not self indulgence it's indeed self-preservation. I started taking time out for myself and began to really get to know myself one-on-one. I've always been someone who enjoys their solitude, but I now no longer feel guilty for spending time alone. Along with putting myself first, I stopped comparing myself. Comparison is a killer to self-love. When it comes to comparisons, we tend to take our greatest flaws and compare them to someone else’s greatest success. With this scenario, you're doomed to fail. I realized that you write your story. You can’t compare your life to someone else’s because no matter how well you know them, you never know how they feel or how they perceive their life. I began spending my time and energy nourishing and building my own path. I now token the very thing I was so very insecure about. With patience, compassion, and acceptance, I soar beautifully in the azure skies of self-love.
" Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself." - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Deja K
GVO