First of all, I'm a Virgo. I say that to say: vulnerability is a bi*ch. Lol. I make my attempts at vocalizing my emotions but I haven’t got that mastered just yet. Hopefully some of my ItGals can relate when I say it is difficult being emotionally available. When you open the gate to vulnerability, you expose yourself the possibility of getting hurt. Some cope by being emotionally unavailable; however, that too has its own underlying issues. Women are emotional creatures. We love and we love hard. This can be beautiful if we present these emotions to someone who they're worth sharing with. Proverbs 4:23 reads, “Guard your heart, above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Our hearts need to be protected until you enter a space with someone where your vulnerability is respected and cherished.
So, here is an ItGal exclusive:
This is an untitled poem on vulnerability by yours truly.
I’m afraid to love
I don’t want to expose my heart
I’ve been wounded and my scars, I’m ashamed of
I’m afraid to love
Show me you love me
Show me you want me
No, I’m not needy for attention
I’m not insecure of myself
I’m just afraid to love
My wounds are my reminders
They tell me not to love
Scars of my naïve emotions for someone who doesn’t know how to love, have made me afraid to love
To my significant other, I don’t know you yet but I apologize in advance
Your attempts to love me may go unnoticed
I may push you further away more often than I pull you close
I can’t say that I won’t ask for reassurance
This is not because I don’t love you…I’m just afraid to love
To my significant other
I hope you’re patient with me
That you’re willing to watch me grow
Maybe one day I will thank you for making it easy to love
But for right now, I’m just a 22-year-old
Learning what it means to be comfortable with being by myself
Because I’m afraid to love
GVO
-RY