Hey It Gals!
The lovely Christmas holiday has came and gone which brings us closer to the New Year of 2017, but before the ball drops I wanted to reflect on the year of 2016. This year had to be one of the most emotional years ever! And the crazy thing is .... there was no heartbreak, no death of someone close to me or any devastating or traumatic event like that which I am blessed and thankful, but it was full of change and confusion which for me personally disturbs my peace. When the year began I was happy-go-lucky about finally moving into my dorm at the University of South Florida and beginning this new era of my life called college. I was a spring admit so for the fall I was home taking classes and working and saving money. I had such expectations because I saw all my classmates enjoying their summer or fall freshman semester and I was eager to finally experience it for myself. I was ready for the new scenery, new people, and new found freedom. Welllllll, boy was I off. I won't say I haven't met new people and that my new city I call home isn't beautiful and full of things to do, but it has taken this whole year for me to finally be in a mindset where I feel content with where I am right now in life. But I'm not one to want to live with just being content with life I want to live a fulfilling life full of love, laughs, success and genuine happiness! So, in that case I feel as though I can only go up from here with the strength I've gained in 2016.
If you're reading this you're probably wondering "well what made the year so difficult or made it so emotional?" Well I'm a 19 year old, small town girl who is a social butterfly, very family oriented and has a hard time adjusting to unexpected change. With knowing that information now, here's a summary of 2016. Moving away from home wasn't a hard thing to do for me, but since I was away for such an extended time with no friends or family I was a bit out of my comfort zone. I began to feel very isolated and alone being away from the things I knew and were sure of in life. Then all the things I felt like I was so "sure" of began to slip away from me leaving me to feel like I was losing a place to call home and people to call friends. Anxiety played a big role in these feelings. When things I never expected to change began to the inner me felt so isolated and alone not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had hit a low point. I began the year with a lot of expectations of how college would be and how I was going to be living life in a new city and I was let down in every way. Then came summer, which gave me time to feel like I belong somewhere again for a while and actually have a social life, be productive, and be in a place I can call home, but nothing good lasts forever they say right? Fall semester began approaching and my family decides they're moving further South where I attend school. Yes, this was good news because I'd now have my family near, but I was losing a huge part of myself and my childhood. When I was finally feeling happy again to have a place to come back to that helped fill those missing pieces I had while away the one thing that was a for sure thing all my life was changing too! It may seem dramatic but it was somewhat a big deal to me because it wasn't about the house I was losing it was the home. Life was really taking me where she wanted to and didn't care not one bit. In closing out the year I felt positive about returning back to school because it would be in the fall with new faces and football games and school events to attend. I stayed true to myself and began to just focus on myself because I was so concerned with what wasn't happening in life and not seeing all the good that could.
So, a turnaround began to happen with prayer and work. I put all my time into me and the things I want to get done in my 4 years of undergrad. I began to control what I could and let the things that wanted to go, go and doors slowly but surely opened which just gave me motivation to go harder! Once my focus changed so did a lot in my life and for the better. With the internal growth and now glow I feel I just pray that in the New Year it shows externally because I just feel like I shook off my adversity and turned it into a grind and success came from it and I'm grateful for it. I'll miss the old things of my life like friendships and may not get to be back home for every city tradition, but the universe has literally let me know that it's time to let it go. People who are meant to stay will stay but if others don't then that is the way it will be. I'm so excited for the New Year! I have things in place for it already and goals for myself set and now that my mindset matches my reality I feel really unstoppable. So, thank you 2016 for the EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER because I know for sure I'm much stronger because of it, but babyyyyyy you've got to goooo! BYE.
I hope this post wasn't too mushy and seemed dramatic because The "It" Gal is an "all things girl" blog and we all have our lows and highs in life and one of the many purposes of this blog is to use this as a platform to be personal and relatable. We all have struggles that we don't speak on or broadcast and I'm the kind of person to keep things to myself because people don't really care about how you feel truly, but my form of expression has always been writing and I'm willing to share my experiences with you all in this way. So with that being said hope each and every one of "It" gals have a Happy New Year!
-XOXO